Note: not my pants.

There’s a simple recipe that I’ve perfected since living on my own that I’d like to share with you all. It probably differs slightly from person to person, but I have a 3 step process that will take you from cranky to calm quite quickly:

1. Go to one’s favourite spot (mine happens to be my bed) in the house to relax.
2. Immediately disrobe until all that is left is one’s underwear (preferable boxers) and undershirt (white, tag-less). *
3. Inhale deeply, and exhale making an audible “aaaaauuugghhh” noise.

* If you don’t own a pair of men’s boxers and/or undershirt, you may substitute with nudity or sliced bread.

Sadly, the only caveat to my plan for a successful comforting of one’s self, is the fact that it requires me to be at home doing nothing. I wish it were more like Instant Noodles where I could just douse myself with a cup of hot water and I’d feel at ease. I guess even if that were the case, not only would my roomie find me even more extremely weird, but my coworkers wouldn’t appreciate a half naked, wet guy groaning throughout the day.

D’oh.