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Instant Comfort

pants
Note: not my pants.

There’s a simple recipe that I’ve perfected since living on my own that I’d like to share with you all. It probably differs slightly from person to person, but I have a 3 step process that will take you from cranky to calm quite quickly:

1. Go to one’s favourite spot (mine happens to be my bed) in the house to relax.
2. Immediately disrobe until all that is left is one’s underwear (preferable boxers) and undershirt (white, tag-less). *
3. Inhale deeply, and exhale making an audible “aaaaauuugghhh” noise.

* If you don’t own a pair of men’s boxers and/or undershirt, you may substitute with nudity or sliced bread.

Sadly, the only caveat to my plan for a successful comforting of one’s self, is the fact that it requires me to be at home doing nothing. I wish it were more like Instant Noodles where I could just douse myself with a cup of hot water and I’d feel at ease. I guess even if that were the case, not only would my roomie find me even more extremely weird, but my coworkers wouldn’t appreciate a half naked, wet guy groaning throughout the day.

D’oh.

4 Comments

  1. Chris
    Posted 21 Sep ’08 at 11:19 pm | Permalink

    I don’t think one really needs to tell this to any man. Its in our blood. The perfect combination of clothlessness and warmth. just add laptop, tv remote, and snacks.

    eeer… so you just stole some pants for a blog post picture?

  2. Posted 22 Sep ’08 at 1:54 am | Permalink

    Hahaha, i would have taken a picture of my own pants but I couldn’t be bothered to artistically throw my jeans on the floor. Instead, yes, I stole someone else’s pants and took a picture while they stood there and watched.. pant-less.

  3. sum
    Posted 22 Sep ’08 at 7:30 pm | Permalink

    drinking works too

  4. jeremy
    Posted 26 Sep ’08 at 10:28 am | Permalink

    thats ok man, i work with naked, wet, groaning ppl everyday.

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